Plans

Lately there's been discussion around our house about Z. and what kind of camps she may want to do this summer. She's already signed up for 3 weeks of zoo camp again, this time she's doing it with a friend. She's got her eye on a couple nature camps and possibly a week at an overnight camp. Usually she does about 6 weeks of camp in the summer. A. and I were talking about possibly taking a week this summer for the three of us to go on a vacation (no ideas where yet).

The thing I realized this morning is that I am making plans. I am not thinking, "well I can't really make plans because I don't know if I'll be doing chemo then". I am making summer plans as if I am a normal person who can make plans 6 months in advance.

Wow, it really hit me that I am starting to process the news that the tumor is gone. It's there on the surface, but this is deeper down. The making plans thing has been a big issue with me since my first cancer diagnosis in 1998. So maybe I am beginning to relax a bit more into this.