Grateful

I've been feeling a bit down lately about my health. Not just the cancer part, but all the other crap, the back pain (which has been bad this week) the blood pressure, blood sugars, lymphedema etc. This morning during my shower I had a big sigh, feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all (this was after I had taken my blood sugar & blood pressure readings which weren't great- probably from the back pain and extra ibuprofen use- and got on the scale and saw that I still had the couple pounds that I have gained back these last couple weeks). Then my view shifted to the fact that I could stand and take a shower. I am not an invalid, although my back has definitely limited me (the thought of sitting on the ground is excruciating, never mind getting up again). I can still function quite well, and that may not always be the case. So, I'm grateful for that.

After the shower I began to get dressed and got my compression stockings and rubber gloves out (you have to use rubber gloves to get the darn things on, if compression stockings are easy to get on, then they are too big or have lost their compression). I stopped for a moment, some days I just sit there for a little while gathering up the energy and will to get them on. I thought about how I will have to continue to do this every single day for the rest of my life (and wear them till bedtime and then wash them out and hang them to dry in the shower). But having had my grateful moment in the shower just a few minutes earlier I decided to focus on that. For now, it's not a big deal, I can get them on and off. There will come a time that it will be much more difficult. So for today, I am grateful.

Sometimes you have to take the grateful moments where you can. It's not always about the gorgeous sunny day, or the beautiful flowers or the face of your sleeping child. Sometimes it's just the fact that you are capable of making it through the little things of that day.