Painting done!

I finished my painting today! I could probably keep working on it forever but it would just become different paintings over and over again, so at some point it feels like you have to say "it's done, time to move on". I left the painting at the studio so it could dry and will pick it up next week. Then I'll photograph it with my good camera (instead of the cell phone camera) and post it.

Next Wed. is the last class of this session. It is also the day I see my medical oncologist and will likely find out what is in store for me the next few months. I will have my ct-scan tomorrow and my plan (if the imaging place cooperates) is to pick up my scan report and cd on Monday. I need them for my appt. with the rad onc on Tuesday morning (and both my drs. appts. next week are not in the same hospital system as where I am getting the scan done), but just as important I will be able to read the results and not have to wait for some dr. to call me or wait at the appt. (which could be 2 hours like my previous appts.) for the dr. to tell me. It gives me back some control.

So, if the tumor has grown I imagine I will be doing either chemo or radiation (depending on whether I am eligible to get more radiation). If it's stayed the same then I don't know what they will suggest, we'll see. If it's smaller then the Megace is working so I'd continue with that. I feel like the results of this are huge, it has such a great effect on my daily life in the coming months, and Z.'s and A.'s. The thought of doing chemo again (and they are talking about the same chemo as before, Taxol/carboplatin) is nauseating (I'm not sure if the pun is intended or not). Losing my hair again, being sick/out of commission for one week out of three, feeling better but poisoned the other weeks, the weakened immune system, neuropathy, etc.. It's just not something I want to do unless I really have to.

So, feeling a little anxious right now to say the least. Trying hard to just stay in the moment for now. And this moment is finishing up this post and driving to school to get Z. and then bringing her to piano lessons, coming home and supervising homework, making dinner (A. is out of town, just Z. and I tonight) etc. Keeping busy is a good thing.