Hope

I went to a conference for cancer survivors recently. It was a day of talks and workshops for cancer survivors and their caregivers, a celebration of survivorship. This is my 2nd year of going and I have really enjoyed it both times. This year the speakers were Wendy Harpham, an author, MD and long term survivor of chronic non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, Howard Freeman, MD, who pioneered the "Patient Navigator" program in Harlem which addresses the disparity in cancer care for those in poverty, Phoebe Snow, the singer, who was caregiver to both her parents during their battles with cancer, and Vince Papale, a colon cancer survivor who was the oldest rookie in the NFL, making the Philadelphia Eagles team in 1976 during a walk in try out. The speakers were all inspirational (and quite funny) in their own ways.

I also took an afternoon workshop with Wendy Harpham called Nourishing Hope. Wendy has been in and out of treatment for chronic non-Hodgkin's lymphoma for many years now. Her kids were 1, 3 and 5 years old when she was first diagnosed (currently her 2 oldest are in college). This past Thanksgiving she was diagnosed with her latest recurrence after her longest remission which had lasted 7 years. She's written a number of books on cancer, including a book called When a Parent Has Cancer which is used at the Wellness Community for their Kid's Connection Day (a day for kids whose parent or grandparent has cancer and their parents/grandparents, Z. and I have participated in it twice). Her most recent book is called Happiness in a Storm: Facing Illness and Embracing Life as a Healthy Survivor. She defines a "healthy survivor" as a survivor who gets good care and lives as fully as possible. (I should probably backtrack and say that the NCCS (National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship) defines cancer survivorship as beginning at diagnosis and lasting as long as one lives). Wendy says a healthy survivor embraces life as it is, finds happiness today, and hopes for a better tomorrow (sounds like what any healthy person might do).

Now people can be awfully weird about hope & positive thinking when it comes to cancer. Often people think that one has to keep a positive attitude in order to "beat" the cancer. Not true. However a positive attitude can certainly help one deal with cancer's effects and enjoy their life much more. Also, if someone is in the depths of depression about their cancer they may not pursue treatment options or they may ignore new symptoms which can affect their cancer progression. Or they might not eat well or move around much which can affect how good they feel both physically and mentally. But the danger with the positive attitude thing is that when someone has cancer they may not feel all that positive so on top of the cancer itself, the treatments and side effects, and the emotional impact, they are now worrying that their dark thoughts are going to kill them! Or even worse, that they brought the cancer upon themselves by not living "positively" enough.

One of the things I love about the Wellness Community is that I am always comfortable there. Most of the people that I have met and become good friends with I likely would never have met in my normal daily life. We all have an almost instant bond, feeling familiarity and deep caring for one another. It's a place where having cancer in your life a given. Everyone knows, everyone understands. There is empathy, but not pity, and certainly no one is scared off by your health status. We can talk about our cancer or not talk about our cancer with equal ease.

One of my favorite things at the Wellness Community is the art therapy. A mindfulness based art therapist runs the class. I've been going to this class since the fall of 2004, beginning shortly after my 2nd cancer diagnosis. The classes run for 7 or 8 weekly sessions and alternates roughly 2 months on and 2 months off. I have an art background but hadn't been doing a whole lot in recent years. Going to this class really reawakened my creative spirit. The best thing about the classes (besides being free and the abundant art supplies laid out like a sumptuous buffet each week) is that it is a very safe, non-judgmental place to do art. Many participants have not done any art since childhood, some, like myself, have some kind of art or craft background. It doesn't matter what one's background is, there is learning and exploration to be done by everyone. These classes have brought back the joy of art making for me. To put color on a page, see the color next to another color, enjoy the textures, the movement, the light it all creates. To not feel that the piece has to "be" something, it doesn't have to look like anything, and it doesn't have to be "good". It just is. Now it's not necessarily easy to suspend judgment but our facilitator is really good at helping us work towards that.

Class starts up again soon and I can't wait to get back to it! I always feel like I'm going through withdrawal during those times when it doesn't meet.